Quick update on the upchance I'll salvage what's left of this pathetic piece of my life.

I'm working at an amusement park in a very popular food stand.
My other job... prep cook at a chain restaurant, yes a restaurant, not fast food.
I'll give you a clue...yum.

I plan to update this soon.

So I have an interview at retaurant #1.
Yep, the first restaurant I worked in.
Haha.
We'll see how this spins.

New job.

Big amusement park.
and where am I working?

Food and Beverage. go fucking figure. haha.
Also, reapplied at the first restaurant I ever worked at.

This will not be the last of me. :)

post secret.

I love Post Secret.
But my job wasn't so bad.

Anyways, I have an interview at an amusement park on Saturday.
Weird, but I'm sure I'll be sucked into food once again and free to write of the antics.

I just...

quit my job.

There's a story in it, I promise.

and it all started with some cocktail sauce.

But for now, I will enjoy my self-given day off. :)

No call no show

means termination.
Well, apparently not to the senior citizens I work with and work for.
I guess when a nasty middle-aged man whom all these LOVELY ladies find attractive doesn't show up or call five days,
it only makes sense to keep him on the schedule
because it couldn't possibly be his fault.


pffft. loser.

We have been through 5 line cooks in less than 5 weeks.
The new cook: "too old to take downstairs". LOL.

I guess you won't get it,
but the super old waitress totally wants to do him.
I guess the 30 year age difference is standing in the way... I'm sorry, I mean 27 years!

Christmas time is here...

The one waitress and I organized secret santa for work.
This should go over.. interestingly. :)

today's dirty dish..

smelly, shitty baby on table.
Yeah, if you're going to have your druggie grandson's kid to watch for the day, maybe you want to change her in the back room.
There's nothing like a customer coming into the restaurant to view [and smell] this while he's waiting for a black gold.

yum!

I like to go into work with a hangover.
It's ridiculous, but I somehow find it easier
to ignore my boss rather than scream at her.
I find it easier to cook for annoying fucks
rather than consider re-enacting Waiting.
The best part is when she has no idea.

Bury me with a spatula
because I think I'm stuck
in the restaurant biz
forever.

sophistication.

If I could describe what my boss looks like, I'd say she is a combination of a character straight out of Whoville wearing a wardrobe similar to the members of Dexy's Midnight Runner in the video, "Come on Eileen". This is not a joke.

Yes, this is the boss I previously described as looking like a disgruntled Christmas tree. I wanted to spice it up a little.


Meanwhile, I AM getting a new job.
I almost (and might still) make it a full year at this job.
I'm like, two weeks away. forreal.
:)

fyi...

medium rare and medium well are completely different.
just in case you didn't catch it.

oh and also, just wanted to say to my boss: you're a bitch.

with love, line cook.

ps. After firing one of my best friends, maybe it's not best to say, "Oh, wow, I didn't think you'd show up" as soon as I walked through the door.

No appreciation.
I'm predicting someone's going to pull a "Waiting" on your food real soon.

and now for something completely different...

Me: Ugh the waitress ate all of my gumballs.
Boss: I wish someone would eat my balls.

weirdest. day. ever.

missing:

Obviously this is news worthy.

Two apple dumplings have gone missing at work!
The perfect prep cook couldn't have calculated incorrectly, of course.
(holy alliteration!!)

By the owner's brilliant deduction, it couldn't have been the following:

the waitresses-because they are too lazy to go downstairs and steal them.
the prep cook- she made them, so how could she have access? ( ha ha ha).
the old lady cook- too old to make the stairs.

so that leaves three cooks and a dishwasher, who never works.
so three cooks. and of course the kiss-ass didn't take them.

what would two kids want with shitty apple dumplings? blech.

so yeah, now my boss is saying there is surveillance downstairs.
if there was, i would have been fired this summer, for sure. ha.

What the hell

is a Country Fried Chicken Fried Steak? Haha. :)

I didn't know either, so when it came in as an order, I made it to the best of my ability.

What did you expect from a no star, one-step up from McDonald's establishment?
That's what I thought; good talk.

PS. This is my 100th post. It's a bit exciting.
So I will end this with love, and a couple pictures of this heart shaped tomato I found at work a little while back. =)

she's a weiner!

It's been awhile.

Recently, I have been so exausted from school, work, and extracurriculars, I failed to notice the hotdog buns were moldy and served a kiddie dog and fries with a seafoam green spotted bun.

Sorry, I hope you enjoyed the new dog I grilled up. :)

flip-flop.

Okay so the soups we serve daily at the restaurant are Vegetable Beef and Chili. We also have a soup of the day.

So the waitress walks up to the special board that reads as follows:

Chili
Tomato Soup
Beef Vegetable

and says, that's funny, I didn't see the Beef Vegetable.
I'm like, did you see the Vegetable Beef?
and she says, yeah, so?
And so I have to explain how Beef Vegetable and Vegetable Beef are the same thing.

:) Love it.

stinky and stupid.

I smell like I jumped in the fryer and took a swim.
Mmmmmm, french fries.

Meanwhile, I feel completely incompetent in comparison to the other cook.
In other words, I feel as dumb as a waitress.

There is nothing like

working with a new person.
especially when they have no experience what-so-ever.

Please do not ask me really stupid questions.

Some examples:
Which one is the cheeseburger?
Is this the pork chops or the chopped steak?

Also, I am not psychic. Your cryptic abbreviations for things are more complicated than Chinese.