today's dirty dish..

smelly, shitty baby on table.
Yeah, if you're going to have your druggie grandson's kid to watch for the day, maybe you want to change her in the back room.
There's nothing like a customer coming into the restaurant to view [and smell] this while he's waiting for a black gold.

yum!

I like to go into work with a hangover.
It's ridiculous, but I somehow find it easier
to ignore my boss rather than scream at her.
I find it easier to cook for annoying fucks
rather than consider re-enacting Waiting.
The best part is when she has no idea.

Bury me with a spatula
because I think I'm stuck
in the restaurant biz
forever.

sophistication.

If I could describe what my boss looks like, I'd say she is a combination of a character straight out of Whoville wearing a wardrobe similar to the members of Dexy's Midnight Runner in the video, "Come on Eileen". This is not a joke.

Yes, this is the boss I previously described as looking like a disgruntled Christmas tree. I wanted to spice it up a little.


Meanwhile, I AM getting a new job.
I almost (and might still) make it a full year at this job.
I'm like, two weeks away. forreal.
:)

fyi...

medium rare and medium well are completely different.
just in case you didn't catch it.

oh and also, just wanted to say to my boss: you're a bitch.

with love, line cook.

ps. After firing one of my best friends, maybe it's not best to say, "Oh, wow, I didn't think you'd show up" as soon as I walked through the door.

No appreciation.
I'm predicting someone's going to pull a "Waiting" on your food real soon.

and now for something completely different...

Me: Ugh the waitress ate all of my gumballs.
Boss: I wish someone would eat my balls.

weirdest. day. ever.

missing:

Obviously this is news worthy.

Two apple dumplings have gone missing at work!
The perfect prep cook couldn't have calculated incorrectly, of course.
(holy alliteration!!)

By the owner's brilliant deduction, it couldn't have been the following:

the waitresses-because they are too lazy to go downstairs and steal them.
the prep cook- she made them, so how could she have access? ( ha ha ha).
the old lady cook- too old to make the stairs.

so that leaves three cooks and a dishwasher, who never works.
so three cooks. and of course the kiss-ass didn't take them.

what would two kids want with shitty apple dumplings? blech.

so yeah, now my boss is saying there is surveillance downstairs.
if there was, i would have been fired this summer, for sure. ha.