Here's a tip...

...for the waitresses I work with.
Purchase a brain. You can use your tips from the old perverts who basically pay to stare at your chest.

Do not come up to the cook's window ever again with two pieces of pie like this and ask,
"Which is the coconut cream?"



The coconut cream pie will always be the one with the coconut.

Here's an equation: coconut + cream + pie crust = ... yes, coconut cream pie.Bananas go on.. umm.. oh boy, this is tricky. perhaps the banana cream pie?

Dumbass.

cooking pot.

I never realized how much people liked smoking pot, that is until I started working in restaurants.



Restaurant #1: One day a year or so back I went to the freezer to find two of our line cooks in there with dryer sheets in hand smoking pot. Wow.

Another time it was my assistant manager, and in the parking lot, it was our other cook and salad bar guy.

They no longer work there.



Restaurant #2, the one cook bribed the other potheads with buds for favors. Haha. I don't have buds, so I'm usually screwed.



It wasn't peer pressure, but I did try the pot in the parking lot of resaurant #2. Just to try, my friend.

But yeah, I just want to end this post by saying, I do not smoke pot. Ha. Thanks. :)

Vegetable of the Day..

Irony in a can.

I worked at restaurant #2 where the Christmas Tree a.k.a. the owner basically said that I can't cook.
So idiot cook #1 asked if I put bacon on a tray for him and I said, "yes, but I don't know how to cook, so.."
and the Christmas Tree (oh, I'm so tempted to use the name of the restaurant), denied even saying it, and she was basically overly bitchy and annoying. She can barely even use the cash register.

but.. umm.. yeah..
so I go to restaurant #1.
The owner calls and asks apparently the "important" workers how my performance is and junk.
She then asks to speak with me over the phone and says she is impressed with my cooking/other skills. Ha, and I'm getting a raise.

So I guess I can suck out loud and get a raise (eventually) all in one day.

No Pants, No Service.

I always believed something to that effect should be added to the "No Shoes, No Shirt, No Service" signs.

Anyways, this old man, possibly between the ages of 60 and 65, likes to come in and eat regularly.
And by regularly, I mean whenever the cute blondes work.

He is what I classify as the old-man-pervert-creeper.
He sits at the counter and flirts with the waitresses, who are overly-friendly for a nice chunk of change.
In the mean-time, I proceed to fill the salad-bar and alas, I turn to find your disgusting old buttcrack sticking out.
Please, put your shit away.
I promise no one is interested.

Special of the Day...

Sitting is free.



In restaurant #1, we have signs hanging that are obviously old.
They are from when the restaurant originally opened in the 1930's.
Yet, I get questions, complaints, and annoying attempts to be witty from customers.

...



"Ma'am, err, excuse me miss? Is paying for a table really necessary?"
"Will the table charge be added to my bill?"
"What's the difference between a small and large table?" *points to sign*

Note the sign has a coca cola logo.
The clock in the background and the soda machine are PEPSI.

So now, I must argue with said customers who cannot grasp the concept we only have Pepsi products.
"I'd like a Coke, please"
"Is Pepsi alright?"
"No, it says Coke"
*points to sign*
"Oh, I'm sorry. That's an old sign. We only have Pepsi."
*5-second pause*
"Just give me a water!"

Good, and you can use the water to wash down the non-existant 25 cent hot-dogs we sell.

Hairnets are for the birds.

The owner of restaurant #2 is a royal pain.
I'm sorry for putting it so bluntly, but you are, lady.

I'm tired of how you look like a christmas tree with your green shirt and red socks visible due to your flood jeans.
Besides that, stop telling me to wear a freaking hairnet.
I know I can't have my hair flowing onto my shoulders (although I'd prefer).
I will gladly pull my hair back or wear a hat of my choice.

I will not, however, wear that stupid universal hat that has been on everyone's heads already.
I also, will never again wear the ridiculous cafeteria worker hairnet.

I will not wear it in my hair.
I will not wear it here or there.
I will not wear it on a box.
I will not wear it with my socks.
I will throw it in the trash,
so you can kiss my ash.

It's bad enough I'm working at 6am; do not scream at me for not wearing a hat.
I don't get paid enough to buy one.

Now, I must get ready to work at restaurant #1.
Wish me luck, my friend.

Behind the Scenes..

The special for today is having no customers for two hours,
with a side of boredom. Your beverage is not included.

Restaurants have down time, and then they have "dead time" in which no customers come in. My boss constantly told me, "there's plenty to do".This plenty includes cleaning, prepping, re-stocking, more cleaning... So then what?

These pictures were from back in the day, a restaurant I've been working at since 2004.
Keep in mind, I was only 16 years old at this time...

This is me and a dishwasher attempting to imitate a pretty crappy movie:
I think we did a fair job. =)

And this one is a dishbin race; we basically moved at the pace of the song Rowboat by Emily Haines. Haha.

so, there's a new restaurant perspective for you.