greeting.

HELLO!
I have pictures of some food I made.
You will be dazzled.

I'll put them up as soon as I find my camera chord.

Also, I have a new waitress story.
It just happened last night, of course. :)

This will all be up soon.

A watched pot never boils,

but I think the waitresses feel they have the power to cook by staring.

There is nothing more irritating than when a waitress types in an order and hands it to me and it's something like a steak WELL.
Well done does not take 4 minutes, stupid.

After putting in an order for steak well done, the waitress comes back less than five minutes later and stares.
She stares and stares and asks if her food was done.

Hey, blondie, if your WELL DONE STEAK was done in five minutes, it probably was still faintly mooing.
If it was done, I would put your food in the window. Jeez.

it's a small world...

Here's something a little complicated yet funny.

I worked at restaurant #1 with C.
C quit restaurant #1 and started working at restaurant #2.
I start working at restaurant #2 with C for extra cash.
C quit that job and gets job at another restaurant.

J works with her at this other restaurant, but also works at restaurant #1.
J told C my ex-boss who fired me from restaurant #1, used to work at restaurant #2 before I got there.

This is interesting; not sure if it's true, but it would explain A LOT.

What's up, stupid?

Okay, there's this waitress.
Dumb as rocks, of course.

WAITRESS: This lady wants a pizza with anchovies.
ME: We don't have anchovies. It's not even on the menu. Ask if she wants something else.
WAITRESS: What is an anchovy?
ME: It's sort of like a type of fish.
WAITRESS: Can you substitute other fish for it?
ME: Like what, baked haddock?
WAITRESS: Umm.. could you?
ME: No, you can't do that! It's like substituting peas for peppers!
WAITRESS: Oh, I didn't think they'd be any different.

DUMB, DUMB, DUMB!

bitter..sweet.

I'd love to shove in my boss's face that while she is struggling to find my replacement and a breakfast cook, I learned breakfast at my other job in order to help out.

Unless she wants to make 12 dozen scrambled eggs, 2 over easy, 4 over hard (all of these one at a time) and on top of that six mickey mouse shaped pancakes for two parents and their seven anklebiters.

Good luck lady.

stupid..boss

I love different colored appliances.
yellow spatulas.
red mixers.
green measuring cups.
orange pots.
blue pans.

i'm fun.and obsessed.
ah, i love to cook.

by the way, my boss cannot cook.
well, my ex-boss.
she has special red colored sautee pans
that she flips eggs in.
she cooks the eggs in a fast-paced restaurant
one at a time.

you know why?
because she says she cannot flip them on the grill.

ah, stupidity at its finest.

flashback. or something.

One time I working down in the ice cream shop.
It wasn't busy so I punched out, but stayed to talk to my supervisor.

I told her I'd sweep but while doing it I put quarters in the jukebox.
I sang and danced to RESPECT by Aretha Franklin, although it wasn't until the next day I found out there are video cameras down there.

I got to work and all I here are people singing.. "whatchu want, baby I got it".
I had a hard time living that one down. haha.

still frustrated.

Running that restaurant is the only thing I was ever sure about.
It kept me going, it made me feel important.

I gave up scholarships to Temple U, Kutztown, Immaculata, Cabrini, and took the small 1/3 scholarship from LVC so I could work at this job.

I gave up my friends from high school, worked every day of senior week, gave up my summers and weekends since I was a freshman in high school.

I gave up my family too. I worked during reunions and parties, and most of them won't speak to me.

I almost failed first semester and struggled through this one because my job is so demanding.

I feel like screaming, crying, cursing them out all at the same time.
They asked me to change who I was, my behavior and attitude.
I did, I was told I did a 360.

Then my manager, who only has been here about a month or so, told me I'm off the schedule.
She is such a horrible, miserable, disrespectful woman.

but I lost so much for my job, maybe I'd keep losing if I still worked there.

failing.falling.

I started working at restaurant #1 on July 28th, 2004.
I was new, and I was hassled because I wasn't the fastest dishwasher on the block.

I eventually became that. I worked so hard. I was so proud, and then I was bored.
I didn't want to dishwash all the time.

My manager [first manager] gave me the chance to do salad bar.
It was so easy, I decided to also dishwash because I felt lazy just doing salad bar.
Eventually I worked my way up to line cook.
I cooked and became the best, I really did.
I was bored, and wanted to waitress.
I was a fill-in server.
I memorized orders, didn't write anything down.

I also worked in the arcade, at the rides, in the ice cream shoppe and for the camper area. I've done it all. I know it all.

I always cooked though, always.
I love the rush of getting a window full of tickets.
I love being wheel-man, controlling the line.

I wanted control of the whole restaurant.
I started becoming a leader figure. I was the go-to person.

My new manager [the fifth one I've had] felt threatened.
I think she did. She didn't like me doing anything but standing on the line.
I didn't like that but I'm better than her. I know I am.

I'm rambling, wondering what's next for me.
Losing to her makes me feel like I'm incapable, of a lot.
That place had my heart, and it gave me confidence.

I left school yesterday, and have yet to go back.
I need a push.

Stubborn..

How can so many people say that "taking me off the schedule" is a mistake and the owner won't budge at all?
I guess there's no ice cream shop for me, or anything else for that matter.

I used to say that the only way I'd leave was if they got rid of me, and hoped for it before because I feared being there forever.

Now, I don't know what I'm thinking.

On Sunday,

I had my job, but today I did not.
I had a missed call from restaurant #1.
I called back. My manager was bothered by the fact I went to another manager and complained about what she told me on Friday [see other post].

She says I went behind her back, and she can't risk that happening again.
Apparently, I have some pull at the restaurant and she must have gotten in huge trouble.
I'm a cook; in my heart I'm a cook.
She won't allow me to continue being that.

Am I fired? Not exactly.
For that I have to wait and see.
Because I work at a "family friendly center/park" and there are other areas in which I can work. It's just up to the owner whether I can do so.

My co-workers who found out are absolutely furious.
I am too, but after leaving school and crying for a few hours, I thought about it.
Maybe there's a spot for me there yet.

Until then, restaurant #2 called and they would like me on the schedule full-time.
Maybe this is my sign to get out of the restaurants.
Maybe this is happening because it's been secretly a dream to go to cooking school, and now I'm supposed to do something else.

Upcoming posts are going to include stuff on my first day and how I ended up there for so long.

Almost four years I can't take back.
I don't think I would either.
I apologize, my friend, because these posts will be more serious.

I suck..

Friday I went to the restaurant for my paycheck and my boss/manager was less than pleased. I helped bus a few tables clad in rugby attire.
She decided to tell me my attitude sucks and I wasn't doing anything good for the restaurant.
I mean, all I do, according to her is request off.

So with that, I smiled and said:

"I actually do have a few more days that I need off. I was going to tell you but I was too busy telling the waitresses how to use the cash register since you do not know how. Have a GREAT day."

Of course later, I cried.
Why? Because I hate being disrespected and I guess that makes me weak.

charge isn't always quicker..

You know those credit card commercials where the people are flying through lines and the person who goes to write a check or pay with cash slows down the line.
Well at the restaurant, it's the waitresses who slow down the credit card process.

Yesterday, while in class, my phone rings.
Restaurant #1 has a line at the cash register.
We have computer-like cash registers.
None of the managers, waitresses, or additional staff know how to fix a credit card slip. They overcharged.
If you can't figure out how to fix it, then refund the customers.
It was only four dollars.
Meanwhile, the line won't be so backed up.

Then they called back to ask again about the register.
I'm a line cook, not a cashier.
Learn how to do it yourself!

Math whiz..

NOT BLONDE WAITRESS: Do you have a calculator?
I'm counting the drawer, but what's 537.32 minus 200.00?
I'm so confused. WHERE IS THAT CALCULATOR?
ME: It's 337.32.
NOT BLONDE WAITRESS: Wow you're good.
ME: No, it's simple math
NOT BLONDE WAITRESS: Well, I was never good at calculus.
ME: Hunny, that's third grade subtraction.

I couldn't even make this stuff up..

post secret

I was just on post secret, which I love. Anyways, I saw this one, and it made me laugh..



but it's not me, I swear. LOL.

Okay, so, advice?

My previous manager [meatloaf man] once told me:
"Noelle, stop being friends with the people you work with."

How close is too close to be with your co-workers anyways?
This is my question.
Because, if I'm there 40+ hours, shouldn't I be able to get along with them?

And also, how much of your life is it okay to let co-workers in on?
This is just a bit more serious, type of, hey can you give me some advice or experiences blog..

You're a Horrorshow.

There is no reason why a manager should ask me which chicken is white meat and which is dark.
If you're getting paid twice as much as me, you should be twice as good.
Your perfume still sucks and your make-up is straight out of The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

I worked at both jobs today (6am-9pm total), so I have plenty to talk about. I'm just lacking the energy right now!
More to come tomorrow.

A raise or a slap in the face?

Yeah, so my paycheck comes.
No raise, but alas a little post-it note.
"Thanks for all you do; you will receive a 25 cent raise"
I guess four years of hard work gets you a quarter.
Ha.

New Kid on the Block #2..

..smells like a french prostitute who collided with a gypsy.
She was dressed in sequins so sparkly, I swear I was having an epilepic seizure,
and her perfume was so strong, I needed an inhaler.

Ode to the Customers..

I gave you types of servers; now bring in the customers!

-The Aspiring Plumber: Sits at the counter with his butt-crack hanging out.
-The Customer in a Bubble: Allergic to just about everything and must ask for every ingredient.
-The old pervert: Sometimes a widower, most times never married who is overly horny. Makes more sexual innuendos than he has wrinkes on his face.
-The "I want my meal free" customer: is one of two people. He either a. complains about everything including the taste of the water or b. eats his meal, licks the plate and then claims it sucks.
-The usual: Comes into the restaurant every day and orders the same meal.
-The procrastinator: arrives 10 minutes prior to closing and usually orders something time consuming.

There are more, and I'll definitely list them in another post soon.
Let me know if you're one of these (if you're willing to admit it)
or if you've seen a certain type. :)

Kiss the Cook

Okay, so there is this line cook I work with...
He's smart and hilarious. He listens to [some] good music.
He is fun to work with because we get along really well.
So I thought, oh no, I cannot possibly like another cook, right?
But I did...

Well, boy, you are lazy and you cannot cook very well.
and that just turns me off.

Learn how to flip a burger behind your back, and then we'll talk.

We called her green beans..

I want to tell you a story about the dumbest waitress I have ever encountered.
I coined her green beans (GB) because it was our occasional vegetable of the day, yet she took orders for them from a bunch of her tables.

Anyways, one day I came out front and began to ramble about the air..
Me: "Oh my God, I forgot to take the air sample today, and I'm so busy!"
GB: "An air sample? For what?"
Me: "We have to take air samples weekly to make sure the oxygen is healthy to breathe. Can you do it for me?"
GB: "Are you serious?"
Me: "Yes, it's really important. This is how you do it. You take a plastic bag and shake it open. Give it four solid shakes and quick tie it up before the air escapes and bring it back over."

Green Beans walks to the corner of the restaurant, customers staring and collects an air sample.
I was laughing so hard, I couldn't breathe the air anyways.

I know, I'm a horrible person.
Did I mention cooks are generally really obnoxious/sarcastic?

crazy cook

The green is already hurting my eyes, but I really needed a change in scenery.
Maybe I should try another color..
What do you guys think?

I am almost positive that I'm going to snap at work today,
so hopefully I'll have something entertaining for later.
I think I need to take sabbatical.

on the line..

Today, I don't want to share how the waitress dropped table 7's food right in front of them. I don't want to ramble on about how my boss can't flip eggs.

I'm going to be a little more serious, and let you in on my life.. just a little.
Okay, so this summer I worked 40-50 hour weeks.
Through this, you get a lot closer to your co-workers, sometimes too close.

I had a thing, more than a thing, call it whatever with one of the cooks.
Oh, he had a girlfriend who also worked there, oops.
Even when I came to college, he would visit basically every day and pick me up just to hang out.
He eventually quit the job, and expected me to do the same.
I couldn't compromise my job for him, and eventually the visits became fewer and farther between.
I felt really empty for awhile.
I guess I'm over it now, but sometimes thinking about it makes me cringe.

So yeah, that was harder than it should have been to type, but in all seriousness, the waitress did drop two pork and sauerkrauts in front of the table and my boss cannot flip eggs on the grill.

New Kid on the Block..

My new manager blows.

Burnt-out cook

Is it bad that I'm keeping my one job because of this blog?

Also, I'm tired.
I work forty hours a week.
two jobs.
cooking and cooking
it's a lot of hamburgers, my friend.

i came home from restaurant #2 to nap for 1.5 hours
and now I must go to my other job.

I hope to have something interesting for tonight!

Is this rare enough for ya?

I really want to see this movie.



I have always been tempted to be like Catherine Zeta-Jones in the opening part of this trailer.

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If you want pie,

do not ask a waitress at restaurant #1.
I experienced de ja vu last night.
Another waitress asked which was the coconut cream pie.
The other cook working said the servers ask her a lot too.

Are you kidding me? Am I missing something?
Obviously, we need to have a tutorial on the different types of pies.

What bugs me is, we've had some good waitresses in the past, and my just fired boss let them go. At least THEY knew which pie was which.

Permanent Scar

I joke and complain about the frustrations of my job, but I'd like to tell a true story about my dedication.

I became best friends with a group of employees over the summer.
We rented a cabin and got trashed.
3 of us were like, we should get tattoos with [insert restaurant (#1) name here].

I guess people say dumb things when they're drunk.
We're just the ones who go through with it while sober.

So yes, I (along with two other co-workers, both don't work there anymore) got a tattoo.
It's a simple design, a star with swirls around it, three letters on the inside of the star.
The letters are the initials of the restaurant I work at.

And where is this lovely scar?
It's on my b-u-t-t, my friend.

I just wanted to share that.
I'm devoted.

Burnt Meatloaf.

I just wanted to inform you all my boss who makes green eggs and made me turn the burger into a meatloaf was fired on 4-1.

And I assure you, it was no April Fool's joke.

Crash and Burn

I get cut and burned a lot at my jobs.

I just wanted to share an experience from Restaurant #2.
I'll keep it short.

This had to be one of my flighty, waitress moments.
I had just turned off the steamer and began to get all of the food out.
I pulled on a half pan that was filled to the brim.
Hot Chicken Pot Pie spilled on my hand.
Naturally an "ouch" and letting the Pot Pie spill followed.
Of course, it spilled all over the rest of my arm.

Doesn't sound so bad, huh?
Half of my arm turned into a big fluid filled bubble
and I had to go to the hospital to get my second degree burns treated.
=(

Sam I Am.. Green Eggs and Ham.

I wanted to share my Easter.
I worked at restaurant #2 from 5:30am-8:30am cooking breakfast, alone, for the first time.
It was. umm. interesting?

but that's not my story..
I went to restaurant #1 right after. They had a "brunch" buffet that included scrambled eggs.
My boss made these eggs, and I'm sure Dr. Suess didn't appreciate them at all.
They were green

My manager, the supposed chef should probably know that eggs cannot be in a metal pan, because they turn green from steam. He didn't even add lemon juice.

Point of the story, the boss cannot cook.

I'd really like to..

86 the waitresses..


So, the special for today is free waitresses. Please, take them off my hands.
Okay, not all waitresses are terrible, but you definitely need to work in a restaurant to understand the different types.


Next time you go out to eat, see which one of these is yours...

The "forgot to take her ritalin" waitress: Sometimes the aspiring actress, will be overly perky and annoying to receive larger tips.


The "on an LSD trip" waitress: She is sometimes has off the wall emotions or is completely spaced out, as if experiencing the effects of LSD.


The table-hog waitress: She stampedes the hostess in attempts to take tables not only in her section, but in every other server's as well.


The eat while she works waitress: You watch from your table in horror as your waitress gorges on french fries drenched in ketchup and then brings your food without washing her hands.


The tip-n-dash waitress: She swoops in for her tip and leaves her table un-bussed and filthy for the next person to deal with.

The clumsy waitress: She spills your food on the floor in front of you and then makes a scene and a complete fool of herself.

The VERY clumsy waitress: She spills your food or beverages right on you.

The "wanna-be doctor" waitress: Her handwriting is so sloppy, she must come back to the table and ask for your order again.

I'm sure I can come up with more, but enjoy that!