Okay, there's this waitress.
Dumb as rocks, of course.
WAITRESS: This lady wants a pizza with anchovies.
ME: We don't have anchovies. It's not even on the menu. Ask if she wants something else.
WAITRESS: What is an anchovy?
ME: It's sort of like a type of fish.
WAITRESS: Can you substitute other fish for it?
ME: Like what, baked haddock?
WAITRESS: Umm.. could you?
ME: No, you can't do that! It's like substituting peas for peppers!
WAITRESS: Oh, I didn't think they'd be any different.
DUMB, DUMB, DUMB!
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